Disclaimer: The Eqbal Ahmad Centre for Public Education (EACPE) encourages critical and independent thinking and believes in a free expression of one’s opinion. However, the views expressed in contributed articles are solely those of their respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the position or policy of the EACPE.
A few days back, a Facebook memory notification popped up on my screen, which spoiled my mood for the rest of the day! I usually avoid looking up memories as it saddens me and I start sulking. This particular notification reminded me of last year, when I went to Taipei for a conference. Life was simple then, as simple as it could be with the security checks and the normal global issues that we had gotten use to post 9/11 which changed world politics overnight.
Getting ready, applying make-up, having breakfast, attending the conference, meeting people, walking the streets of an unknown city was not something unusual. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the trip, the food, people and the sightseeing were worth every minute spent. Wish I knew what the future held for us, I would have extended that trip a little, instead of coming back just in time for Eid.
In January of 2020, world politics and security checks on airports slowly started changing, even though when I traveled to Dubai in early February it was not so bad. But upon my return, staff at Lahore Airport were checking temperature of all the passengers. It was an unusual sight but not to the extent that one would really take it as seriously as it was supposed to be, despite of the fact that China had shut down Wuhan totally; one could not have had dreamt of the times we were heading for.
The day the first Coronavirus case surfaced in Pakistan, some of us knew this is not going to be good. Considering our system and our health service conditions most of us knew we are in for a long indoor, unsocial life. Today it’s a little over a hundred days since first case of Corona was diagnosed; the way numbers of corona patients and deaths in Pakistan are increasing, I doubt if we will ever see the curve flattening before the vaccination is introduced.
Initially staying home, relaxing and looking after the house was something I actually enjoyed doing, however soon it started getting a bit too much. Fear of the invisible disease started taking a toll on my mental health and life. Due to the so called lockdown, I realized how for granted we use to take pre-corona times which now seem to be lost amidst hand sanitizers, staying quarantined at home, social distancing, keeping things sanitized, wearing a mask and taking a bath only to purify ourselves from a disease that is not visible to the naked eye.
Pre-Corona era feels like a dream now, and we are living a nightmare!
I, like many others, am an introvert and would not engage with people for no reason, but this quarantine life also made me realize how important socializing, getting out for fresh air or even just getting dressed was. Whenever I am tired of cleaning the house in this heat, sanitizing grocery, asking everyone in the family to stay safe and not being able to leave the house without wearing a mask, gloves, fear and doubt drown me in a wave of depression. Visions of the time when I was traveling, going to liberty for ‘thus wali bottle’ (soda water) and French fries cooked in oil that was centuries old or going for a drive on Canal Road, cross my mind and all I can do it sigh and try to put up a brave face. Even the unwelcome daily drive to office now seems a blessing!
When things start getting too grim I often hear my heart whisper “Ghar yaad ata hai mujhe,” a song that talks about people who miss their parent’s house. I miss my home too – the house that existed in pre-corona times. When life was simpler, returning home meant hugging my husband, pecking him on the cheek, receiving welcome licks from my dog without fear of exposing them to the virus which I may have picked up on my way back. Earlier all I had to do was change into PJs, remove make up and relax, do my share of work in the house, cook and serve food, talk about happenings of the office and after a cup of tea go to bed with notes to myself about next day’s schedule. But now returning home means sanitizing stuff, car and throwing clothes away, taking a bath and then sit and wait for symptoms of corona to start showing up.
Sleeping is no longer the same, rather it comes slowly after I am mentally exhausted beyond my capacity. It’s been so long in this quarantine life that I don’t remember when was the last time I was properly dressed, opened my cosmetics drawer or applied an eyeliner and lipstick. Bringing grocery home without sanitizing, going to the doctor without fear, window shopping or welcoming guests at even odd hours as part of life. Meeting people, offering tea (which usually no one refuses even in summers) and if its food time then you cannot leave without joining, is part of our culture but all has been lost due to Corona, at least for those who believe that corona ‘exists’. When was the last time I stepped out of the house without a care in life, I don’t remember.
After office I always looked forward to returning home as I had learned to keep office and home life separate, but now work place, its politics and negativity has penetrated our homes.
Corona has changed our lives for good. This is our new normal. We have to adapt to new protocols of daily life and engaging with family and friends. Living with trust issues will make life complicated, but we don’t really have an option apart from waiting for the lifesaving vaccination and for people to understand the gravity of the situation rather than indulge in conspiracy theories and herbal and homeopathy cures for a disease they don’t accept as a disease in the first place.
Pre-Corona era feels like a dream now, and we are living a nightmare!
About the writer
R. Umaima Ahmed is a journalist, digital rights and security activist with an interest in strategic studies. Last but not the least, an animal person.
